My story has been playing on replay lately. When I let it, the volume can get really loud. It says things like, what makes you so special, there are plenty of other people who can do this better than you. It tells me I need to be more qualified, need to do more work, and need more training before I am ready. It tells me I should just give up.
It can be very compelling. Sometimes I want to listen. The resistance to showing up and sharing my story with vulnerability feels so great some days. It would be more comfortable (at least short term) to just give up.
However, if I had listened to my story, I wouldn’t have hosted the most beautiful women’s circle last night. Nor would I be writing this blog. I wouldn’t be running live intuition practice sessions, and I wouldn’t be running an online group program.
These are the things I love doing. After each circle, after writing each blog, after each women’s program I feel renewed with the sense of this is what I’m here to do. I feel fulfilled and grateful. But give it half an hour or talk to me the next day, and the doubt and insecurity are back.
A friend recently remarked that I have just the right personality and attitude to put myself out there and do these scary things. She complimented me on my ability to continue to show up and have faith in myself. But you know what? I am just making it up. I still feel like a fraud most of the time. My imposter syndrome is always with me, whispering in my ear.
But I have made the choice. I have chosen that I want the power to sit with my actions and go for what I love, rather than in the story.
I don’t need to expend my energy on changing the story, I simply choose to acknowledge the story, and then focus my energy on what I love instead. Trying to change the story is simply a waste of my energy.
You have to choose. You can give your power to the story, or you can give your power to what you love. You can’t have both.
Here are a few questions that might help to guide you in terms of revealing your story, and where you might currently be placing your energy:
1. What is the story I tell to hold myself back?
2. What is the inevitable outcome if listen to this story?
3. Is the story true?
4. What would I do, if I wasn’t listening to the story?
Try free writing the answers to these questions and see what comes through.
In everything in life, we always have a choice. What’s yours?
Live, Love & Laugh,