So now that I’m a wise old crone (feel free to laugh here), I thought I’d share my wisdom from my 40 years on this earth
- Life is for Living
I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory but it’s also kinda become my catch cry. Life is for Living. Well yeah, that seems pretty obvious but what does it mean to me? It means stepping out, doing all the things, eating the bad food, taking some risks, do things that feel dangerous to your ego, push outside your comfort zone. Chase the things people told you couldn’t/shouldn’t/wont ever have, but your heart desires them. Live fully, laugh often and forgive.
- Growing old is a privilege
Not everyone reaches the ripe old age of 40. I have lost friends, colleagues, and family members younger than 40. We mistakenly tell ourselves that we’re all going to live to 80+ when the reality is that we have no idea what is in our divine plan. If you knew today was your last day on earth, would you still live it the same way? This isn’t to be morbid, but it’s a really simple way of putting things into perspective. If you say ‘hell no, I hate my job/partner/house (insert your own item here)’ – then why wait before making a change? Life is too damn short my friends.
- Age is only a number!
Ah yes, I must admit, I did have a momentary freak out as this number approached and then I really sat with it. What does 40 even mean – it is completely irrelevant unless you use age as a measurement of when you’re allowed to do things. Perhaps you’re waiting for 65 before you can enjoy life? How about you forget that number and just enjoy life now? Never think I’m too old/young to do that. There is no such thing! I was inspired to follow a new account recently on Instagram, the grandmaprenuer I think she was called. She was all about helping people in the later stages of their life to start businesses and live their best lives. How cool is that!
- Holding back from your truth does not serve you!
This is a tricky one I know. Biting your tongue for the sake of politeness, not disagreeing openly with a loud and dominant person at a party, or simply shutting down your expression because of fear of others simply does not serve you. I am a firm believer in the idea that what serves you in your highest good is actually in the highest good of everyone around you. So just tell your truth and own it!
- Ordinary moments are our greatest gifts
Sure there’s all the hullabaloo that comes with a wedding, birth or significant milestone, but I believe it’s all the ordinary moments in life that add up and create the greatest memories. A quiet night gazing at a fire with your loved one, cuddling on the couch with your pet, swimming in the ocean on a beautiful summer’s day, or enjoying a home-cooked meal with some friends. This is the stuff life is made of, make sure you’re filling your life with these ordinary moments.
- 40s are the time we have lived and experienced and now we can apply it
By the time we reach 40, we have lived. We have had broken relationships, experienced losing close ones (death or separation), usually had at least 1 job or career change, failed a number of times and learnt so much. Now we have the opportunity to consolidate all this learning and really apply it to create a life we love. The excuse of inexperience, youth and fragility are no longer legitimate. Go out and get it! I believe we also have a firmer sense of self, purpose and confidence by this age, all great assets in supporting our journey.
- We now have an opportunity to become other’s teachers
Drawing on the aforementioned point, since we now have a collection of wisdom, experience and skills, it would be the perfect time to start to impart this wisdom on others through teaching. This can take many forms – teaching, coaching, counseling or just lending your expertise in an informal sense. You may notice as you reach this age, that people are ready to hear what you have to say. You have earned this right, now it’s your privilege to use it.
- Anger and resentment only hurts me
I feel like this is a lesson that we can learn many times over. In our human experience, we often want to hold onto hurt and anger towards others as a great distraction from focusing on ourselves. But hurt and anger only serves to hurt you – energetically and at a cellular level. Practice forgiveness of yourself and others often.
- Don’t mistake other people’s shit as your own
Now because I said to forgive, don’t confuse this with letting people walk over you or treat you badly. You still need boundaries. It’s a great skill to be able to discern what is your shit and what is other people’s shit. And if it’s their shit, don’t let it become yours!
- Just because you’re not doing what everyone else is doing, does not mean you are not on your true path
It can be very easy to look around you and wonder how you’re doing compared to everyone else. There’s a bit of an unofficial scorecard that gets passed around the community based on your marital status, children, employment, perceived wealth and a few other markers that have been agreed on by the collective as measures of success. The thing is, if some of these things don’t speak to you, then striving for them based on what others are doing is not going to serve you. Be really clear on your path (this is where your intuition comes in!) and stay true to what you want from your life. Keeping up with the Jones’ is not a game I fancy.
Now I can get off my soapbox but you had to afford me that time now that I’m old!
Seriously though, at whatever stage you’re at in life, I encourage you to think about the lessons you’ve learnt so far and even better – write down your wisdom and share it with someone.
As always, I also love to hear what you think about my blogs.
Live, Love and Laugh,