This week I drummed for a new group of women… and scraped someone’s car at the gym. The lesson from both surprised me.
At my girlfriend’s circle recently, one of the women attending invited me to drum and share my Powerful Woman cards at her upcoming event here in Perth – something I nearly said no to.
There were about 15 women in the room, and it was being held by someone really well known in the women’s empowerment space. Someone experienced, established, and very visible. When she first asked me, my immediate response was yes. It felt like a full body yes. But it didn’t take long before the doubt crept in.
I started thinking about who she was, what she’d done, how long she’d been in this space. And then I started looking at myself through that same lens… and it didn’t feel as solid. I remember thinking, what am I doing stepping into her space? It wasn’t loud or dramatic, just a steady stream of questioning. Am I ready? Do I belong there? What if I don’t deliver what people are expecting?
And if I’m being really honest, I even caught myself checking the weather in the lead up to the event. Telling myself I was just being organised… but secretly hoping it might rain and get cancelled so I didn’t have to make the decision myself. I didn’t say no, but I was definitely looking for a way out, and that felt uncomfortable to admit.
Because underneath all of that, there was something else sitting there too. A knowing. When I actually stopped and paid attention to it, it was pretty simple. She didn’t ask me by accident. She had seen me drum before. She had felt what I bring into a space. She knew my cards. There was a reason she reached out.
And I think this is the bit we often miss. We get so caught up in questioning ourselves that we overlook the fact that someone else has already seen something in us that we’re still trying to trust.
So I said yes. Not because I suddenly felt confident. I didn’t. I still felt unsure. But I knew I would regret it if I didn’t.
When the day came, the nerves were still there. That didn’t magically disappear. But once I started, something shifted. I stopped thinking about how I was being perceived and just focused on what I was there to offer.
Afterwards, a few women came up to me and shared what they felt, what came up for them, what landed. And I remember having this moment of thinking… this wouldn’t have happened if I had found a way out of it. Not just for me, but for them too.
A few days later, something completely different happened.
I was at the gym, running late as usual, trying to squeeze into a park quickly before class started. I misjudged the space and scraped the side of someone’s car. It wasn’t major damage, you almost wouldn’t notice it, but the reaction in my body was huge.
I just sat there for a second with that sinking feeling in my stomach, my mind racing. Part of me wanted to just leave. It would have been easy. No one was around. No one saw. But I knew.
So I got out of the car, wrote a note, left my number, and walked into the gym feeling like everyone was watching me. Which they probably weren’t, but in that moment it really felt like they were.
I could barely focus in class. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, annoyed at myself for making such a simple mistake. And it was interesting to watch how quickly everything came up. The need to be perfect. The low tolerance for getting things wrong. The shame that followed straight after it.
It wasn’t really about the car. It was about being seen in a moment where I wasn’t getting it right. And again, I didn’t have the option to pretend it hadn’t happened. I had to face it, take responsibility, and sit with the discomfort. Which, if I’m honest, felt harder than it should have.
And the more I’ve sat with both of these moments, the more I’ve realised they’re not that different.
One was about being seen in a bigger space. One was about being seen in a small, everyday moment. But both brought up the same thing. That hesitation. That voice that wants to pull back, avoid, stay safe. That part of me that would rather not be seen unless I’m getting it right.
We’ve moved into Aries season now, and the energy feels quite different to what we’ve been sitting in. Pisces invited us to slow down, to feel, to listen. Aries doesn’t really let you stay there. It asks you to take what you already know and do something with it.
Because when I really look at it, it’s not that I didn’t know what to do in either of those moments. I knew. I knew to say yes. I knew to leave the note. The hesitation came after.
And I think that’s the part we don’t talk about enough. It’s not clarity we’re lacking. It’s the willingness to follow through on what we already know.
So if you’re sitting in something right now where you know, but you haven’t acted yet, maybe just notice that. Not judge it, just notice it.
Where are you being invited to step forward? Where are you trying to find a way out of something you already know you’re meant to step into? Where are you only willing to be seen if you get it right?
If this feels like it’s speaking to you, I’d love to invite you into one of my upcoming Women’s Circles. Right now I’m holding them in person here in Perth, and they’re intentionally small. That intimacy matters. It creates a space where you can actually hear yourself and be heard.
In April, we’ll be working with this exact energy. Stepping forward, being seen, and trusting what you already know enough to act on it. Not perfectly. Just honestly.
You can explore upcoming circle dates and reserve your place here. I’d love to have you in the room.
Live, Love & Laugh,
Tash x
Leave a Reply