We recently relocated to Perth. This time for us has been a period of instability, fear and uncertainty. Life has thrown us another curve in the path and we have followed it, without knowing exactly where it’s leading us next. As always though, we hold the vision of our family living a life of freedom and creating our best life – the how is not up to us.
During our transition, we spent some time with Matt’s parents, giving us space to search for a new home, enrol the kids in school and childcare and settle back into suburban life.
During this time, we also started at a new gym and signed up for an eight-week challenge including regular workouts, 10,000 step days and a full healthy eating regime.
It seemed like a good idea to just dive in and do it all, make the most of the benefits of being back in the city.
What I didn’t account for, was my own need to do it all perfectly, tolerating no hiccups, failings or delays in the plan.
About a week and a half in, I totally lost it. I yelled at my eight year old, smacked my three year old and burst into tears in front of my in-laws. It was a pretty ordinary moment for me. But a very human moment. I had tried to hold it all together as though we had it all sorted, whilst fighting the internal feelings of uncertainty, fear and worry.
I had allowed my concern about what people thought to affect my actions and even how I viewed myself. If everyone else thought I was doing ok, then maybe I was. But this is never an ideal situation. Because of focusing externally on doing what I thought everyone else wanted me to do, I stopped listening to what was right for me.
In trying to maintain a picture of the perfect mum, wife, daughter, friend, and community member – I became totally overwhelmed and stuck. I felt disconnected from myself and I abandoned my self-care practices.
The meltdown was a welcome jolt that no matter how hard I might try to appear like I have it all together, in ignoring my emotions and trying to push past my humanness, I would inevitably need to face them – probably at a time I was least ready (eg in front of my whole family and my in-laws (cringe!)).
So instead of striving for perfection, I am striving to allow myself to feel, rest, express and acknowledge. Here are a couple of things you might like to try too if you relate to this idea of chasing perfection:
- Take time every day to acknowledge what’s really going on for you. Write it down, journal, dance it out, talk. Don’t bottle it up.
- Stay true to your own unique vision of what’s true for you. Notice when you’re succumbing to others’ expectations or adjusting your actions to meet others’ approval. Then gently guide yourself back to what’s true for you.
- Ask for time out, space, help – whatever it is that you need. Don’t wait til it spills out of you. Don’t wait for someone to offer.
- Recognise the beauty in your flaws. They are the lead you need, the learnings that are here for you to work on. They are what will help you to go on this beautiful journey. Ignoring or hiding your flaws will only lead to a limited and restricted life. GEt involved in the ugly!
What else can you do today to embrace the fact that you’re perfectly imperfect?
Live, Love and Laugh,
Leave a Reply